#8 True Friends

My sisters, 7 years ago.

Growing up, my two sisters were my true friends and they still are. Growing up, I didn’t have true friends outside of my family. When I was in high school, I had different kinds of friends.  There were the friends I would eat lunch with or study with.  There were the friends I sat next to in class and shared class notes with. 

As I got older, I had my very close, intimate friends, who I ate lunch with at work and talked about my life and struggles. There were my co-worker friends, who I would help on a work assignment. There was a difference on how I related to these people, as well.  Some friends are closer than others.  There is something about me and other people that make us very close or make us not as close.

Friends are important in life. The old cliché is true that “no man is an island.” We cannot live in this world and operate on our own.  We will always be in contact with others (at work, school, church).  There have been times I have seen when a person does not want to interact with others. I’ve wondered if that person had any friends.  I think it’s a lonely place in life not to have any loving, trusting, and supportive friends. 

Jesus had twelve disciples that walked with Him, talked with Him, saw what He did, and they loved Him and He loved them. Jesus was not living a life of secrecy with His friends. He was an open book and He shared the way to eternal life with them.

John 15:15 says, “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (NASB)

Jesus knew their hearts, their weaknesses, and their thoughts.  He knew Peter would deny his friend. He knew Thomas would doubt his friend’s words of resurrection and the words of his brother disciples. He knew Judas would betray his friend.

But isn’t it amazing that Jesus loved them even though He knew this about His friends. My humanity says, “Out they go; can’t trust them; don't want to get close to anyone ever.” But not Jesus.  He loved them all the way to the cross.  What does a true friend do when he or she has been failed by their beloved friend?  What does a true friend do when he or she failed their friend?

Jesus forgave. Peter repented. Thomas believed.  Judas would not repent. He did not believe. He tried to make his wrong right by trying to give back the thirty pieces of silver he took to betray the Lord, but that’s where he stopped.  Instead of believing in Jesus’ love and then repent, Judas killed himself. The money was not the issue.  It was his heart.   I think if Judas would have run to the Lord and said, “Forgive me, I took money to betray You”, Jesus would have forgiven him because that is what Jesus came to this earth to do; to forgive sin, all kinds of sin.

Armitage women, friends in the Lord

Not everyone can be our close friend.  Jesus had twelve close friends, but others did follow Him that loved Him.  I need those few, intimate friends that I can share my heart with.  I know I cannot do that with everyone, but I can still love others and be supportive of them. But with my closest friends, I can cry, I can share about my broken dreams and the dreams I pray for God to answer. With my closest friends, I can break bread with them. I can walk with them when they feel lonely. I can love them when they are hurt or confused.  I can tell them the truth, in love, and pray for them. Friends come and go in and out of my life but they are friends forever.

If I had no friends at all, who would have visited me when I was sick in the hospital and at home with cancer? Who would have prayed for me when my life turned upside down, when I had to sell my house and move? Who would have seen through the schemes of the enemy and protected me when I was being cheated? Who would have prayed for me when I struggled with Social Security, nursing homes, and care for my husband? Who would have comforted me when my husband, my mother, and my brother-in-law passed away within one year? Who would have prayed for me when I resigned from my teaching job and had no income while I sought God to figure out where He was leading me?

All my friends have prayed for me, whether close or not.  I make a list of people who ask for prayer and I pray for them, whether they are intimate close friends or friends in the Lord.  It doesn’t matter. Everyone needs prayer and we can be a friend by lifting them up to God in prayer.

Jesus is the greatest friend of all. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” I am so grateful that Jesus, my best friend, lay down His life for me so that I would not have to find a way to make myself right with God.  Jesus did it all on the cross.  He is the greatest friend with the greatest gift of all.

In being a child of God, when we accept Jesus as our Savior for our sins, Jesus says, “This I command you, that you love one another.” John 15:17.  That means to love like Jesus did.  Forgive our friends like He forgave Peter.  Reassure our friends like He reassured Thomas and the other disciples.  And continue on with the mission that God has set before you, even when there is betrayal.

There are so many sweet songs about friends.  It just warms my heart that even in the secular world, people sing about friends. When I met my husband, his favorite song of all time was Friends Are Friends Forever.  When I asked my sister to sing an appropriate song for Edry’s funeral service, she came up with the same song.  It’s amazing how God puts everything together, perfectly. Edry and I sang a song to each other at our wedding ceremony. I thought it was appropriate that I would sing one last song for my beloved friend, with my sister, at his service.  Edry was a good friend that anyone would want to have. 

A great song: Friends Are Friends Forever by Michael W. Smith