#5 Dad, My Hero, But Jesus Is My Super Hero

For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.

When I think of super heroes of my day, I think of Superman, Batman, and Spiderman. They always saved the day. If someone was in danger, they came to the rescue.  It reminds me of the times I was in danger, and God came to the rescue.  He is the greatest Super Hero of all time, from the beginning of time until the end.  God works through people to be our heroes, our protectors in the flesh, in the human skin.

My dad was my protector.  In kindergarten, I was bullied by a classmate.  She would pinch me until I bled. My slightly,over-sized shoes would slip off my feet and one day at recess, one slipped totally off my foot and she took it and threw it across the playground. Crying, I ran across to get my shoe.  My dad came to school, and with his limited English, he talked to the teacher. He showed her my arms and I had to point to the offender, that mean girl who hated me.  That was all it took for the bullying to stop.  My dad, my hero.

Another time, my sister and I came home from school for lunch. I think we were in first and second grades.  As we were going up the stairs to our apartment on the second floor, two older boys, sons of an acquaintance of my father’s, started pulling us by our coats, trying to drag us down the stairs.  As we tried to fight them off, our screaming brought out my dad and off they ran away.  As an adult, I can only imagine what their evil intentions were. We never saw them again.  Once more, my dad, my hero.

But there were things in life that my dad could not rescue me from.  He couldn’t rescue me from his own brother’s ugly remarks.  He said that I was ugly, skinny, and that no man would ever marry me.  I was too afraid to tell my dad, thinking that he wouldn’t believe me or that no one would really care; or for fear of my pain being minimized, maybe saying something like, “So? Grow up. Stop being so overly sensitive. What’s the big deal?” I think keeping silent was better than knowing no one would care.

My dad couldn’t rescue me from the physical and emotional abuse I endured from my first husband.  I endured six years of silent suffering because I was afraid of those same imaginary remarks; that no one would believe me or that now that I’m married, I have to make the marriage work, no matter what.

After I divorced him, with 3 little ones at 24 years old, my dad couldn’t rescue me from the poor choices I made in relationships; some that made me desperately sad; some that made me lower my self-worth; some that made me feel hopeless.

I was dating a man for almost a year with no real commitment in sight. Though, I had three children and I was in my later twenties, my parents were upset that I was with a non-believer.  My mom was angry but my dad gave me a word of advice.  He said, “Ask him if he is going to marry you.  And if he is not, ask him why not.  If he won’t marry you, then let him go because he will do nothing good for you.”  Wow!  What a concept!  Marriage.  I had sworn off of marriage.  I did not want to be miserable again so I convinced myself that I was happy the way things were, but deep down inside, my father’s words made me realize that I was not happy at all.

So, I took his advice and I ended the relationship.  He did not want a commitment with me and my kids.  He wanted a relationship where he can come and go as he pleased, with no strings attached. It took a couple of months, but he finally stopped calling me and I was all alone again.  I felt miserable.  No man loved me. God was nowhere to be found in my life, so I thought.  My dad wanted what was best for me but here I was alone. My dad was trying to protect me from being stuck in another bad marriage.  God used my dad to speak truth back into my life.  My dad, my hero again.

With the brokenness that I carried in my heart, I felt no one could rescue me from my pain.  But Jesus did.  There was a seed planted a long time ago in my heart and it had not died in the rocky ground.  The Bible says in Matthew 13:20-21 “The one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, this is the man who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls away.” (NASB)  Yes, I was happy to know that Jesus saved and forgave me but, after 10 years, I never grew into living this wonderful truth.

Maybe that seed that was planted in me was from reading the children’s Bible in the laundry mat when I was young; maybe the seed was from the Holy Spirit experience I had at 17 at a prayer meeting at my parent’s church when they became saved. By the way I lived, that seed or the Word of God that I had heard, should have died, but it didn’t.  I believe God has had a plan for my life all along, regardless of the emotional shambles I lived in.

My landlord was my brother’s father-in-law and he was selling his 2-flat.  That meant I would have to move again for the third time in two years with my three little kids.  My mom and dad lived in their own apartment two blocks away.  My dad bought the building on his very low-paying salary from his factory job. It was my parents’ first home and now I didn’t have to bear the fear of moving again.  Again, my dad, my hero.

Mom and Dad on their 50th wedding anniversary, January 2007

Within about a year, I became friends with a Christian woman at work.  I shared my heartache with her.  She prayed for me.  We became like sisters.  At lunch, she talked about Jesus in a way that I had never heard before.  I felt something stirring in my heart and I couldn’t explain it.  All I know is that I wanted to have lunch with her every day just to hear her share the Lord.  God has always been on my mind. I felt the guilt when I lived in sin, but the guilty feeling didn’t change how I lived; I needed more.  I needed to know, for sure, that God really loved me.

I went to her wedding in April, 1989 and walking her down the aisle was her brother.  She never told me she had a brother and he was handsome, but with my poor luck in life, he was probably married.  Well, he wasn’t.  It was not luck but God’s favor that we met and a year later, Edry and I got married on May 19, 1990. My dad, my hero, walked me down the aisle.  It was the simple wedding I had always dreamed of.  Edry and I had 22 years together when he passed away. 

My dad has been my earthly protector, my hero, but God has orchestrated all my steps and He has protected me all my life, even from that kindergarten bully. I survived a very destructive marriage; that was God’s protection.  When a woman talks about being abused by her husband or boyfriend, there is so much damage that has been done. There is self-hate, self-doubt, suspicion of others, poor self-worth, poor self-image, and heartbreak. There are suicidal thoughts or attempts.  There are thoughts of running away and leaving everyone behind. Along may come self-medicating with alcohol or drugs.  Much of this was me.

God gave me a chance to start anew.  Psalm 31:7-8 says, “I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul, And You have not given me over into the hand of the enemy; You have set my feet in a large place.” I am more than overjoyed of God’s love.  He has seen all my pain from failed relationships.  He, Himself, put my feet in a large place, not a tiny room where my spirit would feel confined and trapped, but an open area where I can be free to be myself.

God gave me what I needed, a Godly man who would help me along on my spiritual journey.  I didn’t deserve Edry but God showed His grace on me. He was a gift from God.  But most importantly, God’s gift is salvation, God’s most ultimate gift of self-sacrifice for me.  God forgave me and has been shaping me into the woman He wants me to be. I had Edry’s wedding band inscribed on the inside with our wedding date and the words “God’s Gift”. I wear it on my right thumb to remind me of God’s goodness, His faithfulness when I was faithless, of all His wonderful gifts and blessings in my life.

Edry is gone now and I miss my partner.  My mom is also gone and my kids are all grown up and life is not the same.  My dad still lives in his house with my youngest sister and her daughter with baby lives in my old apartment. But God has not left me or forsaken me.  He continues to protect me.  He protects my heart as a widow.  Psalm 146:9 says, “The Lord protects the strangers, He supports the fatherless and the widow, but He thwarts the way of the wicked.”                                                                                                                                                                                      

God cares what happens to us. He says that He opposes and defeats the plans of our enemies if they try to come against us.  When I am afraid of the world, I can pray, we all can pray Psalm 7:1, “O Lord my God, in You I have taken refuge; Save me from all those who pursue me, and deliver me.”

We can run to God and He protects us. 

My God, my Hero forever. 

the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid