Put My Tears In Your Bottle. Psalm 56:8: #9 I Love Weddings

Weddings. I love going to weddings. The moment the bride walks down the aisle, everyone is up on their feet watching beauty walk past them all. The groom looks at his beloved, waiting for her to stand by his side and waiting for the official announcement that they will be Mr. and Mrs.

I went to a wedding on Saturday with my single girlfriend. In the car, we talked about remarriage and when will the Lord bless us with another opportunity to be a wife? Oh, I want this kind of wedding; I want to wear that; I only want this at my wedding. Well, what about the man? All the preparations for the perfect day, but what about the man being prepared? What about me being prepared?

My first marriage was a disaster. After six years, it finally ended in divorce. It was the longest, painful six years of my life. I can honestly say that I did not deserve the violence and cruelty I experienced. But I learned to wait for the right time to seek help.

I was at a point in my life where I was tired of making poor choices in relationships. I was tired of being alone but also tired of being with the wrong person. Which was worse, being alone or being with someone and feeling alone? I had to wait for the right time and the right man.

But after eight years, then came my second husband, Edry, the man God had prepared for me. I didn’t look for him at my job. I didn’t search for him on a website. I didn’t put an ad in a newspaper. I didn’t answer an ad in a newspaper. I didn’t go on a blind date. I wasn’t set up by a friend. God just brought me to him. Don’t get me wrong; some of these things have brought many couples to a long and beautiful marriage. God just did a miracle in my life, I believe, so that I could see how great God is.

May is our wedding anniversary month and in July, it will be three years Edry has been with the Lord. I no longer wear my wedding ring. I don’t mark the box that says Mrs. on any forms. I don’t file a joint tax return. I’ve had to learn how to use a GPS; read a map; take my car in for an oil change, pump my own gas (yes, I was spoiled); get my own Tylenol when I have a headache; sit alone at the doctor’s office; hold myself back from buying him an anniversary card; find someone available to go with me to a wedding. I miss all these things, and more. These things have made being married a very good experience.

So, would I do it again? I sure would. I believe that I have grown spiritually since my husband died. I also believe God is not going to miraculously bring me to “him” like He did with Edry, but that in my maturity, I have to wait on the Lord and make a Godly choice.

I read this Scripture and hold fast to it because I believe that God can give me another good marriage. Genesis 2:22 “The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.”

For the past 6 ½ years, since my husband was diagnosed with early onset dementia and I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer, God has been fashioning me into the woman He wants me to be. When the time is right and I am done being fashioned, God will bring me to a man that He has been preparing. Edry’s memory can never be erased or replaced by anyone else, but I believe God can bless me again. That’s what I want, another blessing. But in the meantime, I am allowing God to fashion me for His purposes and to serve His people, for His kingdom and His glory. Can God say, “no” to another husband? Yes, He can, but I have not heard that from the Lord. In the meantime, I wait, with hope.

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”